Lately Cracker Bearelle and I have been full of dreams and visions for our life together. There are so many things we want to do. Just thinking of the category “home” alone, in the course of casual conversation, we have compiled a nice little wishlist, ranging from a pie server (you know, a pie-slice-shaped spatula) to tax-credit eligible sliding-glass patio door and replacement windows. Not to mention “travel and leisure” or “financial planning” or even “family planning.” (We are, however, assiduously avoiding an unplanned pregnancy).
Anyway, given the fact that we are trying to live like responsible adults – - living within our means and working to pay off debt and trying to save – - , a condition to which we refer in vernacular shorthand as “being poor,” but which really just means that we have committed ourselves to no longer spending whatever we want whenever we want (as is the American way)…Anyway, a couple of days ago we woke among our visions and dreams and found oursleves beginning to be overwhelmed.
Luckily, for quite some time we have been working through Feathering Your Nest: An Interactive Workbook and Guide to a Loving Lesbian Relationship and had just come to the chapter on setting and achieving goals as a couple. So with a little guidance last night we were able to come up with a set of core values for our relationship and to set goals and priorities according to those values. Then we set some long-, short-, and mid-range goals.
For instance, next month we want to go on walks together a couple of times a week and, instead of the housewarming we’d thought we’d have, give two small dinner parties since we both prefer more intimate gatherings and, perhaps, as a way of setting a precedent for having others in our home on a regular basis.
By the end of the evening, far from overwhelmed, we felt like travelers who, after much aimless disoriented wandering, had finally laid hold of a good map, and bearings taken, were setting forth again with exhilaration and purpose.
[...] for a walk A few weeks ago, when setting goals and identifying our relationship’s core values, we decided that starting in August, we would take two hour-long walks together at least twice a [...]